I think I've gone through my life thinking that there's going to be a magical age when I'll feel established, mature, settled, and secure with my friends and family. Let's just say that in my 40s, I'm finally realizing how silly that is, and I'm comfortably settling into my awkward existence of uncertainty.
I'm often surprised by the fact that some relationships I think I can count on are the ones who fade into the distance when things aren't easy, and the people and relationships I sometimes feel insecure about can be the ones who stand strong and unwavering when it matters the most.
I recently had to face a harsh reality about a friendship I thought was one of my closest. To test what a friendship is made of, tell your friend the truth about your feelings. To make it even more exciting, share something that your friend probably won't agree with, something that might make her uncomfortable, even though it's coming from a place of caring on your part. In my experience, that's when you find out if that friendship is solid or simply one of convenience, which is easy to dispose of the moment you aren't “fun”.
On the other side of it, there are friends I've had for many years, but we've drifted back and forth, sometimes apart, sometimes closer, depending on the season. A recent major life change instantly resulted in those friends coming through for me in a simple but profoundly significant way, and in a way that the person who had become my “closest right now” friend wouldn't, or couldn't, do.
So there's my rambling for today. I'm going to head over to my Zoom lunch date with my friends.